DIET HUMOR

DIET PUNS: Riddle/pun:
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A FAT PERSON?
Answer: THE SKINNY PERON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS.
(Wordplay: gel/jell and jealous) -- a Dan Worona DIET PUN

More than 65,000 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS & ONE LINERS, DIET JOKES, DIET QUOTES , and DIET PUNS: A 40 year plus collection compiled by DANIEL WORONA "Rara Avis."


DIET PUNS:
Are you ready for some more DIET PUN-ISHMENT? Chew on these.
1. BEING OVERWEIGHT IS NO WEIGH TO LIVE. --D. Worona

2. Have you heard of the Mexican ghost named Jose?
They call him, "NO WEIGH, JOSE." --Dan Worona

3. I tried to make the plump ladies see the error of their weighs.
--Dan Worona

4. NOTHING DENTURED, NOTHING GAINED.

5. Overweight? Remember, you earn your weigh.
Before going on a diet, get the "SKINNY" because you cannot have it both weighs.
--Dan Worona

6. Some things are worth the WEIGHT.
(Ice cream and chocolate, to name a few.)
--D. Worona

7. The BBQ King Dan Worona is a GRATE guy.
(Original pun by guess who?)

8. LET US HURRY UP AND FINISH OUR SALAD. THEN, MAYBE, IF WE MUSTARD UP ENOUGH SPEED, WE MIGHT KETCHUP WITH THOSE HOT DOGS AT THE MAYO CLINIC AND RELISH THE MOMENT. THE FIRST HOT DOG TO GET THERE WAS DECLARED THE WIENER. FRANKLY, THE RACE IS NOT OVER, BUT DON'T DISPAIR, THE WURST IS YET TO COME. ---Dan Worona

9. Great googly moogely! He lost a lot of weight. HE WENT OUT OF HIS WEIGH TO DO IT. --Dan Worona

10. RELISH TODAY. KETCHUP TOMORROW.

11. WOKING IS CAUSING QUITE A STIR. --Dan Worona

12. Diet slogan: ARE YOU GOING THE WRONG WEIGH? -Dan Worona

13. DIETING IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND BREADTH.
--Dan Worona

14. Here is a death sentence: IF YOU EAT LOTS OF FAT AND GREASE, YOU WILL CEASE. --Daniel L. Worona

15. Diet and Fitness pun:
Some people trade TIT-FOR-TAT;
healthy people trade FIT-FOR-FAT.
Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

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CHEF SAL MONELLA:
FOOD IS MY LIFE PUBLISHER WANTED: I am looking for a literary agent and publisher to publish my 40 year plus collection of more than 65,000 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES.

PUBLISHERS:
Check out Daniel Worona's "WOR"-ROOM. Go to my Favorite Links page and click on the FOR PUBLISHERS ONLY link. (My "WOR"-ROOM link.)

Thank you, Dan Worona "Rara avis"

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15. FOOD: YOU CAN'T WIN; YOU CAN'T LOSE.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE TASTE, IT GOES TO WASTE.

IF YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TASTE, IT GOES TO WAIST.

--Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

16. BBQ apron: GRATE MINDS THINK ALIKE. --D. Worona

17. OBESITY IS A BIG ISSUE. --Dan Worona

18. THE FOOD LOOKS GOOD FROM FAR, BUT IT'S FAR FROM GOOD.

19. Kitchen sign: THIS IS MY DOUGH-MAIN

20. MY FISH DIET IS FLOUNDERING --Woriginal pun by Dan Worona

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WORD-OF-MOUTH: Please tell your friends about my DIET HUMOR / DIET JOKES Web site. I would appreciate. A big thanky, Dan Worona Please write it down: danworona.50megs.com

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AN EASY WAY TO REMEMBER MY DIET HUMOR SITE:
Daniel Worona works for the famous Mexican beer: CORONA (in the CONSUMER division!!!!) HA!HA!HA! Please forgive me for laughing at my own joke.

My last name (WORONA) is spelled the same as CORONA (beer), except with a W instead of a C. To find my site in the future, just do a search: WORONA + DIET HUMOR (I suggest you use Google or Yahoo or any major search engine.)

Another option: Go to profiles.yahoo.com/dworona (At my Yahoo profile you will find links to my DIET HUMOR and MEXICAN FOLKLORE HUMOR sites.)

A third option is to tattoo my Web site address on your forehead: danworona.50megs.com

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KITCHEN SIGNS:
1. SOME DO JENNY CRAIG...
I DO SARA LEE.

2. I'D COOK IF I COULD FIND THE CAN OPENER.
3. WHEN IN DOUBT, ADD MORE WINE.
4. HARASSING THE COOK WILL DEFINITELY RESULT IN SMALLER PORTIONS.
5. IF MOM AIN'T HAPPY, AIN'T NOBODY HAPPY.

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BARBECUE "RIB TICKLERS" BY DANIEL WORONA

1. BARBECUING IS A GRATE PLEASURE.
2. BBQ IS GRATE FOOD.
3. BARBECUING IS A GRATE SKILL.
4. THE SIGHT OF BBQ RIBS IS EYE-ROTIC.
5. BBQ apron: I AM A GRATE COOK.
6. BEING A BBQ CHEF IS A GRATE JOB.

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Magazine and newspaper inquiries welcomed. I have a unique, interesting, and humorous story for your readers. Please click on FOR NEWSPAPERS AND MAGAZINES ONLY link on my FAVORITE LINKS PAGE for more detailed information.

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This is my latest and greatest pun just for intelligent people like you who are smart enough to scroll down to the bottom of the page.

What is the difference between a dieter and a diet dropout? A: One FORGOES dessert, and the other GOES FOR dessert.

A Woriginal diet pun by Daniel Worona "Rara Avis."

1. MY FOOD PREFERENCE IS OFTEN.

2. I AM NOT FAT! I AM HORIZONTALLY ENHANCED.

3. DOUGHNUTS ARE A HOLE LOTTA FUN!

4. DIETING IS A FAT-FREE PIECE OF CAKE.
Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona

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MORE DIET JOKES AND HUMOR!

Courtesy:DANIEL L. WORONA

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